Different Drummers: More on this Subject

The words ‘my bad’ don’t even begin to make up for the shame I feel for forgetting the most obvious singing drummer EVER: Kelly Keagy of Night Ranger. I mean, Sister Christian?  I feel a little sorry for Ringo, who keeps getting pushed down the list, but until he drums and sings a Sister Christian, well, that’s the way the cymbal crashes, so to speak.  Oh, and Phil Collins. I guess he belongs somewhere on there too. Poor Ringo. Just not his day.

Public Splett Announcement

Gotta think the hardest PSAs to do are for literacy, because your target audience can’t read the ads to find out where to go for more info. Guess there’s radio. But still… Tough one. Stay in school kids!! Although, if you can’t read what I just wrote, I guess… you know what, never mind. Live your life!! Shoot. Can’t read that either.

Looking for Jason

If anyone knows a web designer called Jason (last name either Johnson or Johnstone? bad cellphone connection), please let him know that I’d really like to get the SplettNet train out of the station.

From the Electronic Mailbag: Readers Interact with Me!

From Pensola:

You are so funny!! You need your own talk show!

Thanks but that seems like a lot of pressure!


Tan writes:

I have an important business deal to discuss with you that will be of great benefit for both of us. Reply if interested for more details

You bet I’m interested! Please send more details ASAP to me at splettnet2@splettnet.net


“Splettfan” says:

Hi Richard Splett

Your number 1 Splett fan here. We at the Spetternity were worried that your favourite teas did not include the classic Assam tea or Green tea. I am sure this is an oversight you will be willing to correct. Understandably you had to make room for the deliciousness that is Snapple, but then no love fr AriZona?

Please advise


Splett Fan

”What we do in life echoes in spletternity”

Happy to set the record straight! You spell “favorite” like an English person, Splettfan, and I know that English people know their teas!


Max opines:

I feel like we should have the say in the names we are voting on for followers of splettnet. I personally would prefer Splettizens.

This is your blog, too, Max! Definitely you should have a say!


Tan writes:

I seek your consent for an urgent business proposition. If interested do contact me back via my private email. Awaiting your urgent reply.

Color me interested! Consent granted! I have written you directly to say this, as well. Very excited to hear your proposition!

Meta Alert

Hey Marvel: I’d like to see a Watcher movie which consists entirely of the Watcher watching The Watchmen movie, which would then answer the question of who watches the watchmen? Answer: the Watcher.

Directed Energy Weapons: My View

As someone who has always had a keen interest in both America’s war-fighting abilities and science fiction, I keep a close eye on cutting edge weapons technologies like pulsed energy projectiles, deuterium fluoride lasers and other directed energy systems (“DE” for short). Although DE may seem like Star Trek tech to some, recent developments especially in close-to-room-temperature superconductors suggest that we may be just a few years away from actual battlefield implementation. With this in mind, the DE research community needs to engage more effectively with the Combat Development Command, the Air Force’s Directed Energy Directorate, senior commanders at the 2/3 star level and other stakeholders to decide the best path forward to operationalizing our emerging capacity in the near, medium and long term. 

Congress needs to do its part and give the Secretary of Defense rapid acquisition authority for both lethal and non-lethal (such as sonic) DE systems. I know the lethal stuff is considered “sexier” but the non-lethal devices may actually have greater utility in the current geopolitical landscape. It’s no secret that the Chinese and probably the Russians are developing active and passive countermeasures for DE. America’s status as the dominant power in a unipolar world is contingent first and foremost on our military might. DE and related technologies are essential to maintaining our pre-eminence and hegemony.

I’ll hop off the soapbox now! Thanks for listening!

At the End of the Day 

At the end of the day, a pizza is just a hot open-faced caprese sandwich. And pretty much the rest of the day, too.

Message to Web Designer Jason

Jason, if you’re reading this, please email or text me. Or regular mail. I love a letter every now and then. I’ve been thinking about getting a vintage typewriter, but I don’t have the space. Or the money. So tough. Those IBM Selectrics are so sweet.

Home Run Nickname Derby

As baseball season heats up, thought it might be fun to come up with a new nickname for home runs. Here are my leading contenders:

  1. Humdingers
  2. Long Johns
  3. Creamsicles (Full disclosure, this one’s a bit of a stretch. I love creamsicles and I love home runs. Pretty much the only connection)
  4. Whoa Nellies
  5. ???
  6. Big Ups
  7. Ho-hos
  8. Yonders (originally wanted to go with Beyonders, but worried that Marvel might come after me for unauthorized usage of the Beyonder name, and it wasn’t really the threat of a Marvel lawsuit that gave me pause, so much as the fear (unfounded though it may be) that a lawsuit might in some way delay the development of the Beyonder movie. Not that it’s been announced, but come on. It’s just a matter of time. It’s the Beyonder.)
  9. Spletts (Just kidding!  And yet, not the worst idea. Pretty bad, but not the worst.)

Goldberry Season

Hey, Splettnet.netsters and Splettnet.netettes!!

Feel like it’s time to wet the finger and touch that third rail. Now that we’ve settled on TC as TB (Tom Cruise as Tom Bombadil [side note: I hear your concerns, believe me. Can Tom Cruise sing? Full disclosure, I don’t know. Honestly, in a vacuum, I think the role would belong to Mark Addy, but we don’t live in a fantasy world, and there are financial concerns to factor in. No studio is going to invest the $300 million for a Bombadil quadrilogy {the story naturally divides into three equal but slightly lesser parts and then a slightly larger fourth part, which could sequentially be the third.} without knowing that they’re going to make their money back and then some, and there’s only one movie star out there that’s guaranteed box office gold, and that’s Joseph Donnelly (Far and Away) himself, the ageless Tom Cruise.]) It’s time to figure out the second and no less important piece of the puzzle: the casting of Goldberry. Unfortunately, the obvious choice, Cate Blanchett is disqualified, as she played Galadriel. (Perhaps they should have thought of this before casting her? Just saying.)

Which leaves us with:

1) Kate Hudson (unfairly maligned, IMHO)

2) Daisy Ridley, with enough makeup so she’s age-appropriate for TC

3) ???

4) Lisa Kudrow twenty years ago. Not helpful, but true.

5) Frances McDormand (she can play anything)

6) Lucy Liu, not for diversity, I just think she’s great with comedy.

7) The girl from that new thing. On the poster. Tip of my tongue. I’ll remember it.

From the Electronic Mailbag: Potpourri

James writes:

hi the videos arent loading for me. i just want to watch the movies.


They seem to be working for me. Also, what movies are you talking about?

Justin says:

Great Job, Splett.  You’re the best!

Thanks, Justin! Readers like you make it all worthwhile. 

Alexander asks:


As a policy wonk aspirant, I was wondering how you got yourself involved in the government community. I heard that you were a staffer beforehand, but how would you suggest that I, a fellow wonkish individual, should get into government?

That’s a tough one. Maybe write to your Congressman? Or volunteer in your area? That’s what I did but I don’t know if it will work for you. I got lucky. I don’t know. It’s hard because a lot of people want to “get into” politics.

Ian writes:

Luz ya, Splett.  Just sayin’

Luz ya, too, Ian!  Keep readin’ and writin’ and sayin’!

Redesign Update…

Still waiting on Jason…

Splett or Spleen?

When Googling “Splett” you may accidentally get “Spleen.” Here’s how to tell the difference and some interesting similarities…

1) Director of Communications for Rep. Ryan of New Hampshire: SPLETT

2) Organ found in most vertebrates which functions as a blood filter: SPLEEN

3) Helps Candidate Jonah Ryan on a daily basis: BOTH

4) Synthesizes antibodies and removes bacteria from blood cells: SPLEEN

5) Abnormal enlargement of it can prove fatal: BOTH

6) Favorite movie is “Dragonheart”: SPLETT

7) Favorite movie is “Dragonslayer”: SPLEEN

8) If ruptured, immediate medical attention is required: BOTH

9) Brownish in color: BOTH

10) Weighs approximately 150 grams: BOTH (Splett’s in-womb weight)

11) Its picture can be found a variety of medical journals: BOTH

Upon Further Re-Splett-tion

Back to the body paint of it all. I realized why a body-paint pants suit doesn’t work: You can’t flare the pant-cuffs. Guess those people at Sports Illustrated have thought this through better than I have!

Redesign Update…

Off to the races! Parting with an original Kenner Boba Fett was HARD. But I feel like I owe the SplettNetters out there the best website bitcoin can buy.

It’s Throwback Thursday!

TBT From October 2014.

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Tip: Make sure you film it! I was so excited to get in on this cultural phenomenon slash charitable endeavor that I just ran down to the supermarket, got a bag of ice and dumped it on my head… and completely forgot to set up a camera to document it. Classic Splett. So when I tried to challenge some friends, they sort of didn’t take my word for it, which was a bit of a bummer, but I get it, I totally do. A couple of them sent back emails saying they’d done it, but they also didn’t film it, so maybe they had made the same mistake? Or…

New List of Apples!

There’s just one: Jonagold. 

It’s a cross between the Jonathan and the Golden Delicious.

It’s my new favorite because it reminds me of Congressional candidate Jonah Ryan, who’s definitely gold. 

Although, as far as an apple goes, it’s not the tastiest. The last one I bought had bruises all over the left side. Maybe not the apple’s fault. Probably because I dropped it in the supermarket. I almost didn’t buy it, but one of the guys spraying the produce saw me do it. When life gives you bruised apples, there’s not much you can do.


That’s what I forgot to get at the supermarket, and it was the reason I went there! Somehow I ended up with the apple. Now that I think about it, Laundry detergent. Totally forgot that too. 

I guess I can eat chips for breakfast again.

Drummers Who Sing: The Last Word

A SplettNetter from Canada (hello, up there!) just clued me into The Band. Honestly, all these years, I hadn’t realized The Band was a band. I thought people were just being forgetful or generalizing.

Redesign Update…

So, the redesign might take a tad longer than expected. Apparently the proposal Jason presented was more of a blue-sky estimate, and the real-world cost is somewhat higher. So, debating selling some collectible figurines.

Richard Splett Remembers: The Watcher

When I was a kid, my favorite Marvel Comics character was The Watcher. Kids would be playing superheroes, and they didn’t want an odd number of kids in the games, so Dave and Josh and Rickey and Jim would be playing Spider Man and Thor vs. the Hulk and PowerMan, and they told me I could climb a tree and watch and not get involved, which, if you’re The Watcher, was true to Marvel canon. So that was my thing: The Watcher. I miss those guys. Rickey just died. Melanoma, I believe. Wife, three kids. The wife’s a wreck. Understandable. I was going to start a fund, but as The Watcher, it just didn’t feel right. Too involved. Just gonna keep watching. For now.

Just Asking

Body paint on female athletes: Why is it always a bikini rather than, say, a smart-looking pants suit? Just asking.


Exciting news!

Splettnet.net will be getting a new look! Just hired a very talented new web designer, Jason, who is going to be bringing Splettnet.net a fresh, bold new look.  Stay tuned, SplettNetters…


If anyone’s thinking about getting a new OLED 4K TV, my advice: Wait seven or eight years, and they’ll really have ironed out the kinks. Or if you can live with vignetting, buy one now. Maybe wait six months for prices to come down. But then you’re so close to the ’17 models. Decisions. I still have my Sony 27” CRT and Laser Disc player.

Starbucks Memories

My aunt used to say that you’re never better dressed than when you’re wearing out your welcome.

I’m currently locked out of my apartment, and I bet I’m wearing out my welcome at Starbucks. Plus, I feel like I’m hitting the pumpkin spice latte wall.

A Different Drummer

One of the most impressive skills in music is drummers who can sing. And of the singing drummers in rock, I feel like there is one who just towers over the rest: Jimmy Marinos of the Romantics.

Not to disparage anyone else’s skills, but it’s like it’s Marinos, and then everybody else. I mean, the Romantics’ eponymous debut album was like the Sgt. Pepper of ’70s/’80s power pop. That being said, I guess you could include Ringo Starr in the pantheon of singing drummers. Yeah, probably should, I mean, “Octopus’s Garden” is pretty stellar stuff. I’d still give the nod to Marinos, though. Just based on body of work.